DogSex Blog

When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
Blaming your farts on me…not funny.
Yelling at me for barking…I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG YOU IDIOT!!
How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn’t all over everything while you’re gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)
Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who’s walk is this anyway?
Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose…stop it.
Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet…Why’d you buy carpet?
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet…idiot.
How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you’re just jealous.
Dog sweaters? …… Have you noticed the fur?….. Imbecile.
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. (Now you know why we chew your shit up when you’re not home.)
When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?
Taking me to the vet for “the big snip”, then acting surprised when I freak out everytime we go back.
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit

 1. It’s not a laugh to practice barking at 3a.m.

2. It’s wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her.

3. He shouldn’t jump on your bed when he’s sopping wet.

4. The cats have every right to be in the living room.

5. Barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is stupid

6. Getting up does NOT mean we are going for a walk

7. Just because I’m eating, doesn’t mean you can.

8. If you look at me with those big soppy eyes, I’m not going to give in and feed you. NOT NOT NOT. Oh, ok, just this once.

9. No, it’s my food….Oh alright then, just a small piece.

I saw this funny joke at the Animalsex Blog today, and I wanted to share it as well

Check out A dog Named Sex